2020. Chaotic, isolating, depressing. All of those equally, but even more important- living 100% in the small moments and victories, which thankfully helped bring divided communities back together. It has also been a year of incredible growth and self-realization. I’ve been sitting on this post for a really long time- opening the computer, closing the computer, typing, deleting. All of this just completely sums up this year for me. Thinking about everything 2020 has brought to the surface has been ooooverwhelming.
Every time I get on social media I see “I thought 2020 would be the year I got everything I wanted. Now I know 2020 is the year I appreciate everything I have.” SO TRUE. It has made me appreciate both the failures and the victories of all those around me- myself, my family, and my friends. So guys – let the wrapping on 2020 begin! Cheers to the lack of PARTIES the worldwide PANDEMIC and especially…the PROZAC!
PARTIES. Can we even call them that? Like how many drive-through parties did you attend or throw this year?! My gosh! I never knew I could get so creative trying to throw a party for an 8-year-old boy! Of course, the real party started just as I was cleaning up and taking down all of the obnoxious outdoor decorations. FIND THE GOODIE BAGS- here all the cars come. Yes, I DID set a specific time but DUH -it’s 2020! We had planned to go to Disneyland but instead -2020- brought Disney to us, Mainstreet Parade and all (remember Space Mountain ala Rennert)?! If not, you can read all about it in my post here or watch the fun here! We celebrated my birthday with a few uninterrupted episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and for the Fourth of July…we bribed our neighbors to light fireworks in their driveway. Don’t worry, we stayed on our side. This was also the first year of Cruiz’s life that we didn’t do a family costume for Halloween (BUMMER) and going Christmas shopping meant opening the doors to see what the Amazon Elf delivered!
PANDEMIC. A co-worker of mine joked that life was “so much better B.C.” and before we could even ask she said, that now stands for “Before Covid.” HA!! I started the year off in Seattle and walked off the plane into a freaking Pandemic. News on COVID everywhere. Fear and confusion everywhere. Toilet paper-nowhere. And if you lived in Salt Lake, absolutely ZERO Diet Coke on the shelves…I see you Draper moms. Like many I let the fear take over. I quit a job and left a work team I absolutely adored to be where my family needed me most. I tried my hand at a side “hustle”, failed miserably, and attempted teaching third grade, but failed everything. WTF is math these days?! And politics?? Don’t get me started. This was the MOST political year I have lived through or at least was forced to follow! (But who wasn’t?!…tweet tweet tweet.) I’m really glad I did though- because you know… ”Bitches get stuff done!” THANK YOU AOC, and every other strong woman whose power and grace were finally recognized. Just another example of 2020 coming through for us forcing the very necessary movements that were able to have a voice.
PROZAC. Bring. It. On. No really, and like 5 other medications I can’t pronounce or spell. Because on top of EVERYTHING else I was dealing with, 2020 thought it’d be fun to dump one more “ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME” moment on me. In May, was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease! I think above everything – this was the hardest mental hurdle I had to deal with. I had zero energy, zero motivation and I felt like I was hit by three trucks one after another. Mental health is not a topic I am afraid to discuss but I realized over the months how much it irked me that doctors were so quick to assume I was just depressed. And you know what? I was! But I knew that there was something else wrong and I am glad I stuck to my gut. Overall anxiety and feeling drained will forever be a slice of my every day but I am grateful to know what was causing it and will continue to grow and learn how to support my mental health!
OKAY! Enough with the three “P’s” LET’S TALK ABOUT THE AMAZING THINGS THAT HAPPENED THIS YEAR!
My mother, like many, worked for a company that did not care about the health and well-being of their employees. I’m talking about 200+ people working in the same space. She was quick to take her own health into consideration and left ASAP. She started working for herself and found joy and passion for making coloring books and journals for kids and adults to do together and spark important conversations! Her #1 Amazon bestseller was “Color Me Blind” a coloring book to teach littles about the importance of love and inclusivity. My Bestie also found herself in a similar boat and started drawing to ease her mind. A self-portrait of Shania Twain blew up when the one and only shared it on her own social media page Viola! Gibson Goblin Designs came to life! ANNNNND I started a new career with another growing business that has pushed me completely out of my comfort zone and set expectations that I have been honored to reach! Wow! 2020 gets a high 5 for that because without it none of those things would have happened. And – that’s just within my small circle of humans. Think how many other people out there used this worldwide calamity to dig deep, form a new future, and even face some fears. Without a doubt 2020 took a lot from us – but it also gave us a lot. It gave us strength. It showed us spirit. It taught us compassion. We need to remember that. We also need to remember the many beautiful uninterrupted moments of family time, living, and being present in all of the small moments. The moments we surely have missed.
I saved the best for last. 2020 highlighted the heroes that have been hiding in all of us. I have to believe that everyone out there found at least a little bit of unknown heroism within. But the REAL everyday heroes this year are the doctors and nurses that showed up every day. They didn’t back away from the fear so many of us were running from. In fact, they walked into it day after day after day. Facing a metaphorical bullet every time they but geared up. More important than the medical care they gave is the compassion they showed. They were many times the only kind and familiar face a hospitalized person saw. Not only a doctor but a friend and stand-in family member. Holding their hands and celebrating their small victories while having to stifle their own fears and family longing. I stand with them. Capes have nothing on Scrubs this year.
All in all, I’m happy to slam the door, wave goodbye, and kick 2020 to the curb, but I am humbled by all of the moments and growth it has brought into my life. I look forward to continuing growing in 2021 and I can’t wait to give everyone a massive hug on the other side.
